Saturday, July 26, 2008

Expected Articles In August


In my country, the summer break is in the month August. But don`t worry: I`m staying home. I`ve got extra much time to work on Gamesfurk. Here goes nothing ...


The great preview-offensive :


Prince Of Persia : The Fallen King
Ghostbusters : The Video Game
Sam & Max: Season One



Soon, we will shoot the crap out of virtual soldiers once again on the Wii and Nintendo DS. Call Of Duty: World at War











And a couple of reviews :

Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Alone In The Dark

The next month will be cool. So long !



Saturday, July 19, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode VII : Friday The 13th


Hi. This is the seventh part of the series "Worst Games Of All Time". If you like it, you can read the other six parts !!

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====>
Episode II : Superman 64 <==== ====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <==== ====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <==== ====> Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <==== ====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <==== ====> Episode VII : Friday The 13th (You`re reading it, genius) <==== Now, let`s begin !!

Friday The 13th


WARNING :
Italicized text uses ironic, sarcastic, and black humor. It also uses minimal profanity. Following text is not recommended for children under 13.


Well, Friday the 13th on the NES. At the start screen, you can see a knife flying directly into the eyes of Jason`s mask. That should indicate a very good and action-packed game. True, oh so true. This game is a synonym of the word "great". Everyone loves it. It`s so superb, that I`m reviewing it`s excellence. Outstanding. I can`t find a word to describe it. Everybody loves this game, because it`s the flaw of complete awe. The concept is just brilliant : Making a video-game based on a crappy R-rated slasher movie for kids. Just cool.

There are six camp bastards you can play as. It doesn`t matter if they are black, white or yellow. It doesn`t even matter if they existed in the movie. That`s what I call terrific. Nobody cares because it`s a good game. You go around the camp throwing rocks. Yeah, rocks are fatal. You throw rocks at zombies... and other stuff. The rocks just fly in an arc over the enemy. Peace keepers would love this.You run around trying to find fire-places to light. Just cool.

What more could you ask for ? Thus, every great game has a map screen. This concept works outstanding in sidescrollers, because you know in which direction you`re going. Yeah, cause there is a left and a right direction. If you`re walking left, you`re walking right on the map and vice versa. Why make things easy, if you can make it overcomplicated ? That gives the little twist of challenge for hardcore gamers.
But..but that`s just cool. It makes it more challenging. I love figuring out the basic logic made complicated in an 8-bit video game. I love it. It is just great.. That was the ironic,satirical and sarcastic part. Now the facts are coming.

This is just crap. Crap. Crap. It was produced by the crappiest gaming company ever. Ljn

Donkey licking
Foul-mouthed jade producing
Nutcrackers.

LJN. The bastards who produced Roger Rabbit, Nightmare on Elm Street and this garbage.This is a "son of a bull-balls sucking bastard weirdo"-kind of game !!


I love this game. The rocks that fly an arc over your enemies are so useful. Upgrading to an knife is not mandatory. The knife hurts and destroys the enemy. And we don`t want that, do we? We only use biological and natural weapons made by Motha Nature. After a while, a really awesome and expensive produced peeping sound comes. That is the "Jason-Alarm". When you hear it, you have to go to the map screen. A giant red dot indicates where you are. A gigantic white dot indicates the area where Jason is killin` little puny brats, a.k.a "Camp Councler(s)". I think the red dot is supposed to be a human, and the white one is supposed to be a cabin. But that doesn`t matter. The game is unique it is very own way. So creative, so masterful. Just cool.


Now let`s go left to the cabin where Jason is. I guess I should go left. So I went left, because the cabin was on the left side of the map screen. Guess what ? I`ve walked to the right because I walked left ingame !! That is completely scientific,logical and self explanatory. So there I am, "following the yellow brick road" on the way to the cabin. But that`s O.K because this game kicks George W. Bush`s butt !! So, now I know that I have to go right because it`s on the left side of the screen. Now I``m walking in the right direction. The bare basics of right/left do not apply. That gives the game the right twist. And that`s why this game is so great !! Logic is for pussys... and unlogical actions/reactions rule the video games !!

Finally, I`m in the cabin. Right away, a strange man is saying : "Thank you". He thanks you for walking in the cabin before getting killed by Jason. Wow, I wonder what the strange man will say in hell to the camp councler. The strange man only has a head, but no face. This game must have a high budget. Jason is somewhere in this humongous cabin. This must be the biggest camping cabin ever. He`s coming. He`s coming. Damn, there was a sudden sound the made me crap in my slip.

Now I`m fighting Jason like in "Mike Tyson`s Punch-Out !". Jason sure looks scary in that purple T-shirt. So scary. I defeated him, but he`ll be back, just like in the movie. Even after they counted the fourth installment "The Final Chapter", it had seven moviea after that, not counting the remake of the first movie that is going to be produced in 2009. So for now, I`m walking around triying to find fire-places that I should light up. Isn`t this fun ? The cabin is 2.5d. The controls are really fluent.

This game is a major suckage.

Well, what should we say ? I``m walking around, looking for fire-places and answering the Jason-Alaem once in a while. Once you change the camp-councler, you get the o-so good rock. That accomplished a lot. The day and night transitions are smooth, not like in other games a lá "Castlevania II : Simon`s Quest". It`s is a big improvent over Simons Quest (Note of the author : This sentence is true). Jason comes out once in a while to scare the crap out of you Even Jason`s mom makes an appearance.

Once all of your people are dead, a very entertaining black screen shows up, with following context :

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
ARE DEAD.

GAME OVER.


Not ironic text : What, ya serious ? "Dead" ? Nobody dies in a Nintendo game, they`re "destroyed" or "defeated" !! That`s ingenious. That`s the best Game-Over screen I ever saw. I`m serious. The last seven sentences were serious. Dead serious. Dead freakin` serious. That`s fantastic. You and your friends are dead. Game Over. Don`t you share the same opion ? That is the best screen ever, not including the " Your are dead " screen in Resident Evil 4. If there is a sequel of this craptastic game it would have to say :

YOU`RE FREAKING DEAD.
YOU`RE FIENDS ARE DEAD.
YOU`RE FRIENDS ARE DEAD.
YOU`RE SISTER DIED ON CRACK.
YOU`RE PETS ARE BEING IMPALED ALIVE
BY A HORDE OF CRAZY WORLD OF WARCRAFT
ALLIANCE MEMBERS.
YOU`RE MOM IS BEING SKINNED ALIVE.
YOU`RE DAD IS FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET.
GAME OVER.

PS : THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE !!!






Friday, July 11, 2008

SSBB : Best Character ?

Well, we all know that Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a unique game, but who is the best character ?


These are the best :

Meta Knight
Captain Falcon
Kirby
Lucas
Ness
R.O.B.
Fox
Falco
Mr. Game and Watch


And , of course, the worst :

Olimar
Peach

What do you think ? Please comment!!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Top 10 Best Game Intros Part One

Hello !!

I will tell you about the best game intros !!

It is first thing you see : The intro. Some intros really suck, but some are just really awesome !


Number 10 :

Resident Evil Outbreak :





Well if the game was as good as the intro, I would have bought it !!

Number 9:

Conker: Live and Reloaded



Well, you knew what is coming. If you didn´t, get the hell out, you casual gamer !! The intro of Conker: Live and Reloaded was just one of the best. Even the first 20 seconds are brilliant. Black humor and a "cute" squirrel, that doesn´t look so cute when you see him puke....


To be continued....

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Mario Kart Wii

The kart cult will live on !!


Ask a Nintendo fan-boy about his favorite racing game. In nine out of ten cases, a Nintendo fan would say : *Mario Kart Wii !!* Now we get to see the awesome Wii-version !!


April 11 : Mario Kart Wii was released in Europe. I went to the local electronics store. I got one of the last copies before it was sold out. Played it. Loved it. A superb online-mode, a spectacular multiplayer mode, and lots of unlockables....


Pros (Latin for good) :
  • Huge number of courses, including some of the most imaginative yet
  • Deeply integrated online play
  • Easy to jump into for players of any skill level
  • Fun and strategic trick system
  • Motorcycles provide a great alternative to go-karts.
Contras (Latin for bad) :

  • Nostalgia doesn't save most of the classic courses from being boring
  • Items are more unbalanced than ever, especially on new tracks
  • Battle modes are now exclusively team-based and timed.

One may wonder why Nintendo would add motorcycles and dirt bikes to the game series that popularized, if not invented, the genre of weapons-based go-kart racing. If you're one of the fans who balked at the inclusion of two-wheeled vehicles, a midair stunt system, and motion controls, rest assured that despite these changes, Mario Kart Wii is still very much the game that you have come to love over the years. But even if you haven't been on the receiving end of a blue shell before, the extensive multiplayer options, deeply integrated online functionality, multitude of controller schemes available, and simple gameplay make this latest Mario Kart great fun and quite possibly the most accessible one ever.

The main event of Mario Kart is the Grand Prix mode, which in you must play in order to unlock some characters, karts and more. There is the 50cc, the 100cc and the 150cc mode. You can also unlock the *Mirror Cup* , where all tracks and signs are mirrored. This is very fun, because you aren´t used to it. But this one broke the Mario Kart tradition : You can only play the Grand Prix mode solo (rather than multi-player) !!

16 new, and 16 retro tracks are available. The combination of both new and nostalgic retro levels makes Mario Kart the cremé de la cremé in track choosing. One of the major new features is the midair stunt system, which is activated by flicking the Wii Remote at the very moment you leave the ground from a ramp-assisted jump, making your racer perform an extreme-sports-style trick, such as a 360-degree spin, which upon landing rewards you with a considerable speed boost. To facilitate this new mechanic, most new tracks include huge half-pipes, rampant ramps, a multitude of moguls, and a plethora of pits, all of which are deliberately placed to encourage extensive stunt work. While this new system itself isn't flawed and in fact injects a great deal of fun and new strategy into the gameplay, its influence on course design has made certain items even deadlier, as you're that much more likely to be blasted uncontrollably into lava or other hazards due to how much time you spend in the air.

Online integration is deeper than most other games on the Wii, and you can join matches of any game type with friends as well as strangers from your local region or across the world. You have a persistent score, which is either increased or decreased by your performances, and when seeking out matches you're automatically place with like-skilled opponents revealed on a representation of Earth that uses Miis to show the approximate locations of the competition. In the event that you join a game already in progress, you will automatically be placed in a spectator mode until the round finishes and it's go time. Communication between players online is still virtually nonexistent, but while the ability to smack talk is a vital element of local multiplayer, it's not necessary for facilitating matches.

The most interesting online feature of Mario Kart Wii is the Mario Kart Channel, which can either be launched from within the game or saved directly into your Wii dashboard. Using WiiConnect24, you can compare your best lap times against your friends' and the rest of the region or the world. You can also download ghost replays to see firsthand how the top players pull off their times and send your own ghosts to friends as a challenge, and if this channel has been installed in the Wii menu, you can even do all of this without having your Mario Kart disc in the system.

Mario Kart Wii features a cast of 25 characters, over half of which must be unlocked through various accomplishments in single- or multiplayer modes. The ability to race as one of your Miis is perhaps the most notable new feature, but as great as putting Chuck Norris or Dr. Gregory House behind the wheel is, some of the newcomers like Baby Daisy and Dry Bowser are underwhelming and disappointing. Unlike Mario Kart: Double Dash, characters don't have items specific to them, but they do have up to 12 personalized motorcycles and go-karts to select from to determine racing stats.

Graphically, there isn't very much of a leap between this latest Mario Kart and its predecessor on the GameCube, but there are a lot of little details that add to the experience. Crowds of onlookers are populated by your Miis, and posters or statues throughout the levels can feature them as well. Lighting is vastly improved, and there are a number of nice environmental effects. Electricity crackles around you after you've been blasted by a lightning bolt. However, there is a considerable degradation of graphical quality in split-screen multiplayer--especially with four players--and character models are unnaturally shiny.

*Which controller should I use ?*

Wii-Remote (With Wii-Wheel) ★★★/★★★★★

This controlling method is recommendable for casual gamers. So you can drift better, Nintendo built in a big button on the back side. Negative points : Professional gamers wouldn´t like the Wii Wheel. It´s to imprecise for the harder levels. 3 out of 5


Wii







The best Wii tracks are :
  • Luigi Circuit
  • Mario Circuit
  • Mushroom Gorge
  • DK Snowboard Cross
  • Wario Mine
The worst Wii tracks are :
  • Daisy Circuit
  • Moo Moo Meadows
The best Retro tracks are :
  • GCN Waluigi Stadium
  • N64 DK Jungle Parkway
  • GCN DK Mountain
The worst Retro tracks are :
  • N64 Sherbet Land



Thursday, May 15, 2008

Retro Rules ! : Episode I : TMNT TF

Hi, this is the first episode of my new series "Retro Rules!". I will show you my favorites in retro gaming. Let´s start, shall we ?


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles : Tournament Fighters

In the late-eighty's and early-ninety's,TMNT was every where. T-Shirts, Comics, Stuffed Toys (Merchandising, freak !) !! Big N (Nickname For Nintendo) and Sega won lots of cash because of these turtles....big time with TMNT : TF. The genesis version had Ray Fillet (yummy) as a bonus character, the Super Nintendo (Super Famicom) version had War, a monstrous purple creature with big claws, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as seen in the TMNT comics published by Archie comics. However he is said to be an alien in the game. And the NES (Famicom) version had Hothead, A giant dragon..thing. The Genesis (Mega Drive for all European, Brazilian, and Japanese readers) starts with some weirdos shouting *You can count on use !!* While I looked at the screen, I saw a giant bug dude. Who the hell was that ? Oh, Sil(l)yphus. No, he is called Sis(s)yphus. What a sissy. Whatever , you suck donkeys, Why couldn`t they use Chrome Dome or Be-Bop , or everybody except this bug. What can I say ?about the NES version ?

While all three versions share the same title, each game is unique to its console. A respective turtle was selected to be the cover character of each version released in NA and the PAL Region; as there were three games and four ninja turtles, Mike was the one left out for such a role.

In Nippon, whereas the Genesis version retained the North American title, the SNES version was retitled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Warriors, disambiguating the two games. The NES version was not released in Japan (Suckers !!) .

The SNES version roked. It had sweet music, a bunch of cool characters, and really hard moves. Oh yeah, there is a green bar , too. When it is full, you can execute a signature move. If you`re lucky enough to get this one a SNES, I hate you*cry* .



Friday, April 11, 2008

Mario Kart Wii Review

Yahoo !! Finally, Mario Kart Wii is here . How many of you were a bit nervous when Nintendo announced that Mario Kart Wii would be released so soon? How many of you started thinking it might be a 'rush job' to fill a gap in the Wii release schedule? How many saw the bikes and thought "oh no, they've ruined Mario Kart"? We'll admit it: deep down, we were worried about all of the above. It turns out we should have known better .

1.0
----Introduction-----

A long story short: It's Mario Kart! It's not some warped, twisted monster that used to be Mario Kart and has now mutated into some horrible kart/bike shambles that's lost its magic. That familiar, addictive Mario Kart gameplay is still there, only now it's even better.

There are 12 playable characters when you first start the game, with a bunch of racers to unlock. We won't spoil them just now but, needless to say, a couple of the hidden characters are surprise inclusions who haven't been in a Mario Kart game before. Some characters are only known by the hardest nerds in the business ..... Example : Toadette. Like expected the weight classes are back in force, with characters split into light, medium and heavy classes. At first, each weight class has a choice of three different karts and three different bikes, but more are unlockable as you progress.

Mario Kart Wii has a new controller called the "Wii Wheel" . I don´t really like it, because it´s inaccurate and for "Casual Gamers" (yuck). But it´s the best gaming wheel on a Nintendo console, no doubt.

2.0
-------The First Touch------

The moment of truth overwhelmed me as I opened the game. While it suck completely ? How will the Wii Wheel work ? I had to find out. Like the good old tradition, I choose the 50ccm class. Here the opponents are really foolish and easy to trick out. For casual gamers : It´s the easiest class.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode VI : Shaq Fu

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====>
Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu (Your reading it, bub)<====
....Now it´s time to review.....

Shaq Fu

Shaq Fu was one hell of a game . Before I start cursing about this game , let me take a deep breath . OK , let´s do it .......
Shaq Fu was made by EA in the year 1994 (That poor year) and released on the SNES , Genesis , Game Boy , Game Gear and Amiga . Man , if the SNES/Genesis version sucks , why did they make it on the Amiga and the handheld consoles ? This game just sucks sucking suckers .

As you can see , Shaq Fu is "Crap-Level 2" which is a rare status .

First of all , why in the name of freakin´ retardos did they use Shaq O´Neal ? Isn´t his rap career humiliating enough ? I mean that Shaq plays basketball and he´s not the choosen one that has to save kids . He´s just a popular fat no-brain basketball player !! Second of all , this is a fighting game . It´s so freakin´ hard , so crappy , it´s just a piece of donkey feces .

Just because Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were good games , doesn´t mean that the whole fighting genre is good ! The whole genre is 95 % Street Fighter Clone , while the other 5% are good games . You can guess 3 times : Is Shaq Fu a good game ? There are just so many fighting games because of $$$ .

Shaq Fu is the worst fighting-game ever . Shaqs career is comin´ to a end . His biggest mistake was : Shaq Fu . It was his first and final fighting game . And his second biggest mistake : His rap career . This game brings all bad things about fighting-games and brings it in one.
Gameplay
I could leave this section blank because of one reason : When was the last time you saw something good about Shaq Fu ? There was no last time .....

1 : There was a complete lack of timing when maneuvering .You press *Kick* and it happens circa 1.5 seconds later . *Kick* isn´t the only one , even *Jump* reacts 2 seconds later .

2: This game has the clumsiest controls ever in the fighting genre .

3: You can only choose Shaq Fu . Note : Shaq fights like a 2-year old girl . He can´t even block . Can his enemies block ? Yes , they can .

4. This game has a two-player mode . Can you imagine playing this game with a friend ?


5. Aside from jumping, projectile attacks conflict with the in-game lagging. Once you execute the command (if you can, that is), the lag and lack of combat animation kicks in, and whoever you’re playing against can see it coming a mile away. Like I said before, it will come to a point where you’ll cut it out of your overall repertoire, assuming your patience allows you to make it to that point

6. Shaq can´t darn block at the right time . Timing is not available !

7. This game has three stupid modes to play , each of them suck harder than the other . And which one sucks the most ? Well , I would say : Story Mode . Why ? Because you can only choose O´Neal . That hurts .

For one or two-player combat, there is the duel mode. Players can select their character and adjust a handicap
(There is enough in 0% handicap , trust me ) in two-player battle, and in single-player, you simply climb oh-so-short ladder of characters. For a party, there’s the tournament mode for up to eight players, but who in their right mind would like to play this piece of dog poo ?

Music , Sound , Graphics

I have to say : weak . It´s actually a category were this game doesn´t suck .

Uniqueness , Fun , Replay Value

Like almost all bad games , this one is unique alright . In crappyness
Fun : No Comment
Replay Value : If there even were a category called *Play Value* , I would live it blank .

Last Word:

Crap , this game landed in the *poor* New Mexico Desert , right of E.T.

Rating :

Sound : 0/10.0 ( The lowest rating possible is : -10.0 )
Music : -1 / 10.0
Graphics : 5.0 /10.0
Gameplay : -3.0 / 10.0
Uniqueness 6.0/10.0
Replay Value -10.0/10.0
Fun : -9.0/ 10.0

Overall : -6.0









Sunday, March 23, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====>
Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde ( Your reading it,bub) <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <====
....Now it´s time to review.....

Dr Jekyll And Mr. Hyde

Warning : This game sucks so hard . Please : If you are easily scared by dumbness , go buy a hamburger at your local shoe store . WE REMEMBERED YOU . THERE IS NO COMING BACK (Except the "One Page Back Button " , but we don`t want that , do we ? )

Today we`ll talk about the game Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde , which is a NES game "LOOSELY" based on the novel (Please,read the word "LOOSELY") . It was supposed to be a action-game , but they just screwed up. It´s based on a very successful Scottish lawyer novel . You can make a good game out of that, a mediocre game out of that, or a weak game out of that . They made none of it . They made one of the worst games EVER . Damn , they really were high on something . I`m just freakin` traumatized because of the crapyness of this so called "game" . I would call it "Disgrace For Mankind " or even " One Of The Biggest Mistakes Of Humanity " . This game is good on what it wants . And it really wants to suck hardcore . This game could make you have hydrophobia , diarrhea , flatulence or even .... butt inflammation . Still not scared ? Well , I warned you.......

This crap features six levels ( I think you would not make it past the first level . And if you do , then you´ve just wasted valuable time of your life . Of course only if you have one ) . The Japanese-Version contains the levels : City , Park , Alley , Town , Cemetery , Street . But in the NA version the levels are : Town, Cemetery , Town
( very creative using one level two times) , Park , Cemetery (they used town and cemetery each two times ! ) and last but not least the Street .

Probably the most unique enemy in the game, the grave digger has the ability to throw three piles of dirt in multiple directions with one swift motion. Wow , the Japanese did 4 levels just for that . Once upon a time , two scientists blindfolded a retarded ninja girl and told her to write the story , gameplay elements , and compose songs . These were used in Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde . Renegade Captain Crunch Berries attack Mr. Hyde. , sudden lighting hits Mr. Hyde , retardos hit Mr. Hyde , hell even Hulk Hogan hits Mr. Hyde !!!!

Bad Street Brawler was bad , but if you compare it with this game , it´s GOD . I know ya kinda played abysmal or mediocre,weak and solid games . But this game brings CRAP to a whole new level . Or even to a whole new dimension , or even to a whole new generation . Believe me , you will understand me if you play the game .
The music is weak , the graphic is under-average , but the gameplay is so bad , you would enjoy gettin´ beat by giant Mecha-Bulls who are on steroids more than this . Pac-Man 2600 was expected to be a good game . But it just disappointed young gamers . Dr. Jekyll And Mr, Hyde is one of these games where there is (surprisingly) no disappointment .This game will haunt you for the rest of your life !! I´m traumatized because....because......it´s just unexplainable .There are at least a billion , no a googolplex ( 100 zeros ) things that can be replaced or left out of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde......This freakin´ game is BAD , just a shame to the NES . The Nintendo Entertainment System didn´t deserve this kind of "crap" . I can´t find a word how I can describe this game to under-13 Year Olds . That´s why I´m not cursing,darning, or even swearing to hard . This game is freakin´ horrible !!! The whole game makes no freakin´ sense !!! What were they thinkin ´ !!! I seriously can´t believe how bad this stupid game is !!!

I don´t want to make screenshots of this dumb, crap, silly, stupid game ! I don´t want to open it ever again ! I don´t want to even look at the damn butt-ugly box . EVER . Now I´m fuming mad , so let´s talk about the enemies.

As Dr. Jekyll, you are attacked by "normal" bastards. The assortment of bad guys is bizarre, ridiculous and completely obscure : Bees come out of nowhere and hover in random patterns, crows fly overhead and try to drop excrement onto you, purple colored men (Yeah,that color is cool , especially for Men ) walk slowly in your direction and drop bombs that have unpredictable blast radius , spiders fall from trees , little crazy kids shoot slingshots, ladies charge at you, and gravediggers throw dirt in your direction. I still don't know why everybody hates you so much, everything that happens in this game is pointless. It's not like you are smothered with honey, so why are the bees chasing you? I won't even begin to imagine why fat women want to run you over.Or do I ?
When you turn into Mr. Hyde, the enemies get even more disturbing. The Jackalope from "America's Funniest Home Videos" and the Little Mermaid especially want to see you dead . They´re routine head hunters. Crazy dead zombie women attack you, little winged devils blow bubbles in your direction, and spore creatures explode mid air causing harmful little red balls to go in multiple directions.

You know, just like in the original book .
I´m still thinkin´ how I should destroy this donkey-manure . Please write your suggestions in "Comments" . Because of this review I will actually give a Minus Rating .I bought this game for 1 $ (I payed with Euro ) and after that I asked myself : Damn , why did I waste so much money on this !?

Now first of all , if ya start the game : Who are these weirdos who try to constantly kill you ? Dr. Jekyll walks mega-slow , it´s like a 1000-times Slo-Mo . First of all your cane does not work . They give you a freakin´ cane to kill these bastards , but it does not do anything just to tease you . It´s like if none of your weapons or items work ! Imagine a good game were your weapons don´t .....NO,THERE IS NO GOOD GAME WERE YOUR WEAPONS OR ITEMS DON´T WORK .....After the second screen you´d be probably dead and fight with Mr.Hyde .But then,at a random moment , lightning hits you . WHAT THE.. ? .

Good games like Super Mario Galaxy tempt you try again and work harder . But Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hide just is bad . Do you want to play a game where you´ve done everything perfect and then suddenly out of nowhere lightning hits you with no explanation ? No, I don´t think so. And after that the screen shows a boring : "Game Over " with black background . WHAT IN THE NAME OF MANKIND'S CRAP WAS THAT ?!!!! Now, you have read this review , I think this horrible thing should satisfy your curiosity .

Now , if you´re curious enough to play it , do me a favor and just don´t ! I´m a hardcore Nintendo-Fan and you can´t get any harder than my hardcore . Please , I know what´s good and what´s bad . Don´t even buy it for a penny or stuff, cause I regret it .Don´t even download it on a emulator or stuff . I wish I could go build a time machine and go to the time when they "developed" this manure and tell em : Don´t do it , this thing is bad . If you do , I kill you ! You´d rather drink gasoline then play this game . Don´t think I´m joking , a´ight !! I´m not kidding. I´m freakin´ serious .
This anathema sucks ..

Ranting : Graphics : -2.0 Out of (-10.0 Is The Lowest Rating,while10.0 is the highest)
Sound : -5.0
Music : -7.0
Gameplay : -10.0
Fun : -10.0
Uniqueness : + 5.0 (This Game Is Unique....In Crapyness !!!)
OVERALL : - 10 Worst Rating Possible





Saturday, March 22, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====> Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====>Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====

====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler (Your reading it ) <====
====> Episode V : Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <====
...... Now to the review it´s................

Bad Street Brawler

As the title tells you , this game completely sucks donkey butts . This game is bad , but I mean it in another way. I mean it in a crappy way . They mean it in a cool way . Even stupid kids who enjoy watching Zoey 101 (Yup , thats right . I know that this show still exists) on TeenNick would know that this so called ""game" (I would call it total failure made by total failures ) is bad .

Bad Street Brawler is an insanely cute beat-'em-up horizontal scroller for the NES . You play as the role of an
former punk rocker and the world's coolest martial arts vigilante ! I would call him a complete hobo who should be kicked in the balls by the best Shaolin-Monk .

Note that this game is completely controlled by the power glove . They go well together , because none of ´em work.

You must venture through the 10 levels, each of which has its own super-ridiculous moves and punches, kicking the crap out of everyone and everything you see . And right down to the banana-throwing gorillas, it's a perfect recreation of real life ghetto streets.

You actually try pretty hard to brawl your way through the streets. Your days as a punk rocker didn't do much to prepare you for a life of high action karate battles. There are girl scouts born with flippers that can punch better than DUKE DAVIS. Another muscle spasm he incorporated into his martial arts technique was falling over in a move that looked like it was hardly even trying to be a kick. The local animal control probably could have taken care of the puppy infestation on Bad Street a long time ago if they knew all they had to do was wander around in a diaper and have clumsy seizures.

The game opens with the soon-to-be-famous proverb, "Never Trouble Trouble Til Trouble Troubles You." Of course, it's pretty hypocritical since dressing up in a yellow diaper and kicking any random midget you see is just blatantly Troubling Trouble.


Worst Games Of All Time : Episode III : Pac-Man For The Atari 2600

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====> Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 (Your reading it) <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <====
...... Now to the review it´s.................

Pac-Man (Atari 2600)

"What !? " , you might ask yourself . "Pac-Man being a bad game !!? " Pac-Man is good . No not good , but revolutionary . At least the arcade-version. But the Atari 2600 version is bad . No not
bad , but awfully terrible.This game sucks and every single cartridge should be destroyed by Pac-Man himself . Shame yourself, Atari 2600 developers . You`ve killed your freakin´ mascot ! You´ve killed the video gaming industry ! Without Nintendo ( I call them " Holy N " ) you`d be a company filled with useless developers who make useless games ! Atari SUCKS ! Hell,I would say the only good Atari game is the original arcade Pac-Man ! Now let`s go on to the actual game.....

Pac-Man 2600 was released in the year 1981 by ..... (you can guess three times) A.T.A.R.I. which actually means:

  • Awkward weirdos who should get a life.
  • Titanium cartridge suckin´ b**tar**s
  • Awkward weirdos who use the letter A two times in a word and find falling down a cliff while playing E.T and fighting versus wise ninja-girls armed with a AK-47 boring
  • Rude guys who really need to go to a mental hospital , because their video games suck so hard , even the makers of Bible Adventures could almost laugh them out (ironically,almost)
  • Interesting games which can cause severe diarrhea
The poor port is blamed on the A.T.A.R.I. marketing department's rush to bring the game to the market. They asked the developers to take drugs , so that the quality of the game could significantly rise . After that they asked the developers to ruin their company with there own mascot. This game and E.T. probably caused the video game crash of 1983. This huge mess just destroyed (Note:This word is to "not offensive and/or cool " . I would rather use "eliminate" or "neutralize" ) customer loyalty to A.T.A.R.I. and the whole freakin` awesome video game industry !!

The ghosts were blue,pink,red and orange (as far as I can remember) . But in this port the ghosts have got blinkers which blink blue,red,pink and orange lights respectively . It really maked you hypnotized and the flicker also induced seizures , because the ghosts tried so hard and believed in them selfs . They try to let you die and end in a grave.The eyes of the ghosts on the 2600 port spin constantly, while the eyes of the monster in the arcade game indicate their direction of movement.

There also are stupid ghosts (who just randomly go through the maze) , fast ghosts (as the name indicates,
fast) and last and least, smart ghosts who trie to find the fastest way to you .

Rating: Dude/Dudet , I recommend you send your copies of the game back to Atari (or whats left of the freakin company) and play the arcade version . Otherwise , if you don`t a bunch of goverment guys will come and try to place you in a hospital where dangerous stupidos live .

I give this black sheep a ......

0.1/10.0 (The .1 is for Pac-Man . Pac-Man , if you read this please remember that you have to reach for the rainbows and please,please, I´m beggin` ya , don`t kill a console. )

|||<-------------PAC-MAN ---------->|||
|||<-------------------4-€v€R------------------>|||

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Super Mario 64: 1.0 Review

Super Mario 64


1.0 Review
2.0 Secrets/Alternatives WARNING:THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS
3.0 DS Version Differences To N64 Version WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS


1.0 Review

"Mario always will be our favorite plumber."

The year 1996, the SNES is on its to extinction and Nintendo releases out their next-gen console called the "Nintendo 64". What game did they show with the system? Super Mario 64. This game alone single handedly took the industry and made everyone drop their jaw in awe of how amazing it looked and played. Mario's franchise had just made the biggest impact from 2D to 3D in gaming. Super Mario 64 is fully in 3D absolutely nothing about this game is done in a 2D way of viewing. You have full control of what you want to do and how you want to play. A completely non-linear Mario game that allows you to just jump around in this expansive world of the Mushroom Kingdom and have fun while doing it.

When you actually pick up the controller and play this game you are just in amazement at what this game features for you . Since you play as Mario you will obviously be able to jump to your hearts content whether it is through the trees or just running back and forth hopping blissfully. Mario also is given a wide array of jumping abilities in this game, for example, if you run forward and pull back on the control stick Mario will perform a side-jump. This is taller than your usual jump allowing you to access other areas that you might have not been able to before. When playing you'll notice the genre this game falls under really sticks out like a sore thumb, platformer. Like all Mario games most of the time you'll be jumping your way through lots of platforms and objects. One of the new abilities however is the ability to do a punch, punch, kick combination. Other than jumping this is one of your only ways to attack the enemies that scatter the levels.There is also a special triple jump,which I will explain further to you in the chapter 2.0.

The main point of Super Mario 64 is actually kind of different from prior games. Princess Peach has given Mario a letter and asked him to come to the castle because she has baked a cake for him. When he arrives he hears an eerie voice saying that Peach has been captured and the stars have been stolen! I actually think Mario tries to save the cake,not the princess !!!!

It pretty much setups for the theme of the game, which is to collect the stars and restore the power back to the Mushroom Kingdom along with rescuing Peach. Collecting stars is actually a very innovative idea when you look at previous Mario games. In order for you to reach a new level you have to obtain a certain amount of stars, these stars will unlock the door and painting that you need to enter. The amount you need isn't anything extravagant either since there are eight stars per level.

Within each level there is a "mission" so to speak that you have to complete. For example, the first level requires you to make your way to a summit of the mountain to take on King Bob-omb. You don't have to follow the guidelines or mission you are in but you will not be given any hint as to where other stars are until you've completed the objective before. This doesn't hinder the gameplay by any stretch of the imagination and since the worlds are so massive this is actually very helpful. This could be compared to their being a world and a sub-level in each world.

One thing that Super Mario 64 didn't have was bosses; strangely the only boss in the game was your old fiend Bowser. There were some "mini-boss" type people in some of the worlds but nothing that really gave you a blow away kind of experience. Although there was a lack of bosses that didn't interfere with the quality of SM64 at all. The "mini-bosses" complimented the loss quite nicely in each of the "sub-levels" of each world.

Musically this game was an absolute masterpiece; featuring the work of Koji Kondo this had a very, very atmospheric type of score. There was the bouncy like, happy music of the snow level, the more Arabic sound of the desert world, and the eerie sound of the Haunted Ghost House. Most of the tracks in the game rarely repeated themselves and changed every time you enter a new portion of a level. To compliment the music is the sound of Mario finally speaking words; Mario has plenty to say in this adventure. He has grunts and "Yippees!", "Yahoo!", "Wha ha ha!" when he jumps into the air. It is a perfect representation of Mario's personality as an optimistic, fun loving kind of guy....

Something that was truly unique to the Mario series was the addition of a life bar. Instead of you getting a mushroom and being able to be hit twice, Mario had a small pie of life. Blue indicated Mario was fully healthy, green meant he had been damaged, yellow meant he was approaching danger, and red meant he was about to die. The only way to recover your health was to get coins, one coin would recover one little slot of your life. This inclusion was most likely due to the lack of power-ups in the game. I will give you further tips in the chapter 2.0.

Nintendo had strayed away from such items as the mushroom and fire flower instead giving Mario three different kinds of caps: Wing, Invisible, and Metal. Aside from those Mario couldn't obtain any sort of upgrade from his normal self. With the Wing Cap he would be able to grow wings out of his hat and fly, with the Invisible Cap he could walk through walls and enemies, and with the Metal Cap he became encase in metal plating.

Quite possibly the best thing about Super Mario 64 was the massive and extremely varied level design. You had a grass level, buildings, haunted houses, deserts, snowy areas, oceans, lava, etc. Nintendo captured every possible type of level format and put them into SM64. What really just sent this over the edge was the amount of depth that every single one of them had. There was just so much you could do in every level and they were so big that you could really go into one and spend hours upon hours trying to find stuff. They could be vibrant and full of color or dark and dreary to give you a tense way to approach things. All of them were scattered with platforming obstacles, enemies, large pillars, even tornadoes. Nintendo had managed to take the old 2D worlds of Mario and transform them into 3D.

With all the things to do in Super Mario 64 you may wonder just how long a game like this is. There is just so much you can do between collecting a total of 120 stars, exploring the vast levels, finding many secrets scattered across the levels, and even just jumping around. The games length runs you through a whomping 20+ hours of total gameplay. Unlike Mario games of the past, this one pumps up the length, for a comparison Super Mario World was around 10 hours for completion. This game more than doubles that in the time you spend playing, making this truly one of the best Mario experiences out there. To further add to the length is the upped difficulty and replay value. Attempting to comeback to the game and give it a whirl at collecting all 120 stars or trying to find well-hidden secrets by Nintendo. It makes you comeback time and time again.

So in closing what Nintendo had managed to do was create more than just another Mario game, but a totally unique gaming experience as a whole. The game that revolutionized the industry, set a standard for 3D gaming, and pushed us in the right direction was Super Mario 64. It truly is one of the best games ever created and because of such it scores no worse than a 10. It doesn't matter what you are a fan of whether it be RPGs, FPS, platformers, etc. you absolutely cannot miss out on playing Super Mario 64.His brother Sunshine just was a tick crapier,but I still recommend Super Mario 64,Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy

Final Score: 10.0

Graphics:10.0

Sound: 10.0 for Marios legendary Yiippiii,Wa-ha-hu !,and Yaaahhhooo !

Gameplay: 10.0

Other: 10.0

Lots of games just sucked after the change to 3D,but Mario broke the trend,and will live on for EVER


to be continued with chapter 2.0.....

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

XXXL-SUPER SMASH BROS: BRAWL REVIEW

!!! Allstar-Beat `em Up Smash-Fighters Better Then Ever !!!!!!!!!


Facts
  • Classic-Mode with 11 Stages plus "Game And Watch"-Level
  • Adventure-Mode with eight hours non-stop action
  • Special-Melees are now also able to be played against another player
  • 35 characters (14 of them unlockable)
  • 30 arenas (7 unlockable) plus Melee levels
  • 16:9/480p-Picture,sound in Dolby ProLogic II
Table Of Contents
1.0 Let The Hype Begin !!!!
2.0 Which Controller Should I Use ?
3.0 More Modes Than A Swiss-Army Knife
4.0 Gotta Unlock Em All !
5.0 Last Words


1.0
0-=:;Let The Hype Begin:;=-O

Oh, Nintendo, you certainly have come a long way. The original Super Smash Bros. started out as an experiment between Satoru Iwata and a young Masahiro Sakurai. The idea behind the game was to make an unparalleled fighting experience that took specific advantage of the analog stick, which was one of the N64's stones at the time. It wasn't until later in the development that Sakurai had asked for permission to slap Nintendo's most well-known characters onto the bodies of the fighters and market the game as the perfect "Nintendo-Fan" fighting experience.

Two years after its release, a significantly beefier Smash Bros. Melee launched on the GameCube, which stood the test of time for a solid 6 years. Finally, almost a decade after the first release, we are delighted with the third and presumably final chapter in the Smash series, entitled Super Smash Bros.
Brawl.Super Smash Bros. Brawl is everything a true gamer could want from a outstanding Nintendo console in the seventh-generation of video gaming-history.

Even the character-list is filled with Nintendo`s mascots and icons: It`s a list full of characters that saved the video game crash of 1983 or made other rival systems (Neo-Geo,Sega Mega Drive,Playstation,...) unpopular and extinct.
Mario,Fox Mccloud,Solid Snake,Sonic,Wario,Pokemon-Trainer,Kirby,Zero-Suit Samus,Yoshi,Meta Knight and lots more are featured in this mega-game!! First of all,let`s go to the subject "Controller"

2.0 §$%&/)(0ßWhich Conroller Should I Use ?ß0)(/&%$§

Which Controller should we use to fight with Mario,Pikachu,Samus,Link and the rest ? Gamesfurk knows the answer..

GameCube Controller
OldSchool-Feeling: 5 Stars Out Of 5
Grip: 2 Stars Out Of 5
Use : 2 Stars Out Of 5


Well,I used the Gamecube-Controller first and here is my decision : The GameCube controller is really good for the old-school Super Smash Bros. Melee-players.But what really bugs me is : I kind of like don`t use the old controller any more,so I am not used to the cable of GC controllers.Well in this situation I recommend the Wii-Remote,ut thefinal decision is up to you.

Classic Controller

OldSchool-Feeling: 4 Stars Out Of 5
Grip: 3 Stars Out Of 5
Use : 1 Star Out Of Five

I can´t really say, but I think this controller is good for Smash fighters who loved the GameCube(-controller) but lost/selled.... it.But the buttons are to wide away!!!
Nintendo Wii

OldSchool-Feeling: 1 Star Out Of 5
Grip: 5 Stars Out Of 5
Use: 4 Stars Out Of 5

I like the GameCube-Controller,but now it`s time for change (Gamesfurk For President;)! I just wanna say "yes" to something new.And thats why I like to use the Wii-Remote.Additionally all useful buttons are to unreachable , and there is nothing which spoils the fun.

3.0 "§$-More Modes Than A Swiss Army Knife-$§"

The smash excitement already begins before the main-menu appears.Because the "VIP"-game loads on a Dual-Layer Memory,the loading time is much longer than standard Wii-Games.After the game loaded,our eyes look directly at the character-screen.Uhh,only 21 fighters.But you have to unlock 14 characters,so you will be pretty busy,trust me.It looks like Nintendo only choosed the Crème de la Créme so that everybody would find there right fighter.Even (mostly) unknown characters like Lucas (From the USA and Japan exclusive RPG "Earthbound") or R.O.B. (the toy-robot for the NES) are playable.

Also,the "unlock"-factor is hugly higher then the predecessor Super Smash Bros. Melee . In the menu you can even have a list of Nintendo-games since the NES (!).The trophys from Melee are still in the game,also 10 virual console (retro) games are unlockable as really short demos.I think Nintendo did this unlockable for more sales in the Wii Shop-Channel.No chit-chat,let us talk about the new Adventure-Mode.
The adventure mode which was not featured in "Melee". Like in the good-old fashioned 16-Bit Era with games a la Final Fight or Streets Of Rage you fight with a character and fight against monsters like in a real good Beat Em Up game.Well it doesnt sound interesting,but the more you play this XXL-Mode,the more you like it.

4.0 Gotta Unlock Em All !

The gameplay is as fast as it is used to be. Every character has similair attacks. But there are differences.Some characters can get hit more without being KO'ed then others.But the balance of stats is preety good.So nobody is really weak.One of the biggest new thing is the Ultra-Smash-Attack : If you see a glowing emblem floating somewhere in the stage,do not hestitate and just hit it.The fighter that hits the emblem KO gets a new special abbilty which can only be used once per fight.It is a lethal attack. Each character has its own Ultra-Smash.For example
Solid Snake gets his gun and shoots the enemy.If lucky enough all enemys.

5.0 Last Words


GamePlay: A combination of Smash 64 and Melee. The balanced fighting and easy-to-learn yet heavily in-depth controls will keep you striving for perfection.
Graphics: What the Wii lacks in polygon count it makes up for in sheer artistic value. Brawl looks absolutely stunning and completely appropriate at all times.
Sound: Hands-down the best soundtrack a video game has ever had. All of the sound effects are appropriate and vary enough that you won't grow tired of them. Also, Sonic Boom!
Replay Value: Infinite. Period. You will never stop playing Brawl, unless Sakurai decides to release a fourth installment on the Nintendo Us.

Final Word: I have never seen more effort put into a video game than what has been shown in Brawl. With unbelievable multiplayer fighting, an enormous single player mode, and collectibles that will last for years, there's no reason why you shouldn't buy it.

Please note this is a preview,because I only played it for like 20 minutes.When it comes out in Europe,I will do the real review.







Sunday, February 10, 2008

Pros talking I:A new Nintendo DS?

The analyst Evan Wilson from Pacific Crest Securities speculates that Nintendo is working on a new Nintendo-DS model. Allegendly the new DS will be thinner, have no GameBoy-Advance Slot and will have a bigger screen, Wilson says. Additionaly the handheld console will have Internal-Memory, so it will be able to save music and photos. Wilson also says it will not be released, if the DS sells like last year.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
^[[{/?<:Now It Is Time For The Gamers To Talk About This Topic:>?\}]]^


A new version of the Nintendo DS makes pretty much sense. Nintendo wants to release DS-demos on the Wii-Shop channel...then a internal-mermory is needed. Nintendo also wants older adults to buy the Nintendo DS,so it is smart to make a bigger screen.Someday the sales will stop and Nintendo will have to bring a new device on the market.Then the new updates will help Nintendo.It did by GBA SP and DS Lite,so it will probally work here to.






Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Pro Evolution Soccer 2008


Pro Evolution Soccer 2008

Facts:
  • Controlling over Wii-Pointer
  • Team can be saved on Wii-Remote
  • Online-Mode
  • Mii-Support

Show your amazing skills !!!
Do the new controls help this game to get on the top of its genre ?

One-two,hit a cross and goooall!! At present,soccer is represented in the video game world by Mario(at least on the Wii).The zealous plumber throws off ice soccer-balls and supershots.But that game (Super Mario Strikers Charged) belongs to the arcade-box.Well,you can not really say that to Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 . Thanks to the revolutionary Wii-Remote Konami promises a new kind of expierience that will enjoy being on the top.The Wii-Remote and Nunchuk lets you control your Soccer-Star.



+=-new footballing expierience -=+


{It was very important for us that the wii-version of PES 2008 will be unique.} That is maybe a new start for sport-related-games on the Nintendo Wii.This game is going to be a feast! Real good controls,lots of new licensed clubs,good graphics and, Mii-Support! Hope this game is not going to be delayed,cause this is going to be freakin' awesome!!!The game is supposed to feel as if you have control over ALL your players ! To accomplish this,you will control your squad with your Wii-Remote.You can tell players in-game that they should move left,right.... with a Drag-And-Drop system(players that do not have the ball).While you can peforming passes,cross hittings,and shots,you can control your player with the help of your Nunchuck.Additionaly,you can use the Remote to select a player which you will pass to or let a player move to a direction you choosed.


(-=!!Caution:The opponent is not sleeping !!=- )


You should take a look on their formation to not do a Offside.....If you lighty shake your Wii-Remote,you will straddle your enemy.But you shake to hard,it will turn out to be a foul.So shake lightly,dude/dudet ! Before the game starts,you can save a strategie to your Wii-Remote and press Left/Right/Up/Down to perform it.Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 also includes a lot of Modes.There are six modes in the game:Match-,League-,Cup-Modes and Training-,and a Trade-Section. Also there is a Wii-Exclusive mode called "Champions Road".In Champions mode you can choose a favorite team and compete tons of cups.You can fight your to the top in real leagues !!After every match your team gains experiment-points and if you get a certain amount of points,you can upgrade the skills of your player.


(-=\The little things/=-)


....Are the things that make a game special.As metioned above,there is a full Mii-Support.Up to 16 Miis can be intergrated into a specific team.To put the cherry on the top,you can save the team to your Wii-Remote and take it to your friend and play with your updated squad.Last but not least you can play online Wi-Fi "Free Matches".Also cool:Thanks to WiiConnect24 you can send your team-data to your friend.

I think that this game will hopefully be a masterpiece.




Saturday, January 19, 2008

Geometry Wars: Galaxies

8-Bit Gameplay collides with High-End-Graphics=Real Good Game

Facts:
☆ over 60 levels
☆ unlocked levels if the game is linked with the DS version
☆ online highscores
☆ only 40 €
☆ also as DS-Download !

Y'all thinkin‘ you got the reflexes of a professional ? Are you thinking, that you can concur stress appealing and hypersonic fast gameplay ? If yes, you would probably like "Geometry Wars : Galaxies" . Cause this one is a hell of a retro-shooter.

[<{¡Playable Chaos!}>]

You will experience explosions mostly colored and shaped.You control a itsy bitsy spaceship over a limited area.While you control with the stick,you aim with the cursor and shoot with A or B.A thick laser shows you the direction of your shot.Also,a drone floats with you who can help you in different situations.Well,you guested it,there must be evil spaceships too.They are real crazy,like if you stolen lollipops from 100 4-year olds.Ouch.Even touching your enemy costs you a live.By the chaos of tons of enemys there will be adrenaline.With a little bit practice you should enter slowly the highscore-tables and fight your way to the top.It really motivates to try to achieve a better score.It is still disappointing that you can lose your eye on the ship and shoot into nowhere.

(.:?What The Hell Are Geoms?:.)

Defeated enemys transform into little items called Geoms.If ya collect them,you could unlock new levels and new drone-skills but also as point multiplication.You can get up to 150-times the normal score.Then you get instead of lousy 25 points for an enemy 3750 points for one hit.Only this way you will achieve the gold-medallion.

!!!!!Caution,makes addicted!!!!!!!!!

This game is a must for highscore hunters and retro-shooter fans!

Rating:8.5/10

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck

Let Daffy turn crazy !

Do you guys now the Looney Tunes episode where Daffy Duck gets owned from the drawer of the cartoon ? That episode was called "Duck Amuck".The same thing happens with freakin´ Daffy Duck in this innovative DS game.The object of the game is to exasperate Daffy Duck until he goes plumb loco.To do this,you have to complete minigames.As we know Daffy,he isn't in the mood and always criticizes the video games of today or thinks:"In which game am I ?"This isn't just showed perfect,no,this is your Motto!You hit him in the right moment or draw on his body or just destroy his speech messages.Similar 20 minigames,that are real simple.You organize cards so that they are in the right position,blow up candles or push the R-Button while you are closing(!) the DS.

Rating:7.0/10.0

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Super Mario Galaxy

Genre: Jump ´n run, Adventure


This Game is the 2.best game ever. This is masterpiece its a must play game.There are planets,one of the planet is even a pokéball-planet! Now comes a mega review.

1.0 Costumes
1.5 Short facts
2.0 Review Part 1
2.5 In the dark vades of the galaxy
2.7 Star? Wait,I am coming!
3.0 Get 'em all !
4.0 Opinions of other people in town.



1.0 Costume

Here are some of the transformation costumes.
______________________________________________________________
Bee-Mario:Buzz around with the Bee-Mario!
Appears:When you get a Bee colored [black-yellow] mushroom.
Again back to Mario:When your been touched or attacked from a foe,fallen down or When you have contact with water.
_________________________________________________________
Fire-Mario:This can shoot fire.You know the old-timer Fire-Mario from Super Mario World.
Appears:When you get a red flower.
Again Back to normal Mario: When the Time limit is over.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ghost-Mario:Go through walls with ghost Mario.
Appears:If you get a white mushroom.(with a tongue and look like a ghost).Can fly trough walls
Normal Mario:When your been touched or attacked from a foe,fallen down or When you have contact with water.

----------------------------------------------------------
Spring-Mario:Bounce always like a crazy guy with em´.
Appears:If you get a white mushroom (with stripes)
Normal Mario: When your been touched or attacked from a foe,fallen down or When you have contact with water.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ice-Mario:Can turn water to ice.Ability to walk at the water.
Appears:When you get a blue flower
Normal Mario:After a time-limit or after you touched a foe.


1.5 Short facts
  • Six galaxys and 120 powerstars
  • Its worth it to play the game two times:)Then comes....
  • Dolby Logic 460 or 16:9
  • Mailtoads messages appear on the Wii Pinboard


2.0 Review Part 1

A game like starbits: Shiny,fascinating ,brilliant!
I analyze, who good really the Mario-Dream(ing good)galaxy is.

These are the best in game minutes until now,that a Mariofan could ask for:
Who touches Super Mario Galaxy for the first time will play a adventure for all his/her senses.
The Wii-epos begins with a unusual sensationally kidnapping-scene of Princess Peach.The story isn't that good,but we understand that they want to come to the point:the titanic gameplay!
I have looked in more than the half (65 powerstars) of the game and i can usure you,that you will know what made Super Mario Galaxy to the best game ever!
(Gamerankings say Ocarina Of Time is slightly ((0,2%)) better)

2.5 In the dark fades of the galaxy

Little cuts for yourselves,a big cut into direction fun:The tempo and the big diversity of the first scenes are extremely high:Bowser shoots meteors like he shooted before from the skys and you run to the excited Toad-hoard to the castle of Princess Peach.Over there the cruel magician Kamek is waiting for you.So many action at the beginning of a Mario-Game was unbelivable.Until now.Additionally the "fast-intro-skip-syndrom" is gone,which only a extrem little amount of games have.After a few minutes,your first task is to be competed:Catch them freakin' rabbits,that are jumpin' around.You said it,I did it and "shupp de wupp" you meet Rosalina,the owner of the observatory.And the player doesn't just only complete a boring
tutorial,no no no,he learns the basics of a masterpiece in a fun,cool,and chic level.

2.7 Star? Wait,i am coming !

The highlight of Super Mario Galaxy is the open gameworld:You can decide anytime which mission you want to take on.Is your task to hard ?Try another galaxy!The location was in
Super Mario 64 the Toadstool-Castle and in Super Mario Sunshine the Delphino Island,but now the location is the star observatory.Sad is that in the real ingame world,you cant explore things like to let the swimming pool dry up like in Super Mario 64.This is one of the reasons , why you don't need a Walktrough to play Super Mario Galaxy . The focus of the game is to explore the new horizons by yourself.The world above is a much smaller than the 64-Bit Toadstool-Castle.
The producers have made their right decision,because you can get closer to the actual key of the game:The powerstars !

3.0 Get ´em all !

120 of the relics are in the Mario-Galaxy.Well,the number didn't really change.To collect these freakin´ pointy stars, you must compete tasks such as:A race versus a well trained ray.In the honey hive galaxy you free the bee queen from five star splitters.Well,you have seen 20 % of the missions kind of like in Super Mario 64.The gameplay of this game is very good,but still in a newly discovered Retro-Mario style.Lack of gameplay is not receivable.

4.0 Opinions from others in town

What a cool game ! Super Mario Galaxy is a must for every Wii-Owner! Not even one level compares with another.With so many game ideas i am asking myself if Miyamoto could ever top this one!


Summary:

  • Leveldesign A+
  • Two times playable
  • Very good balanced difficulty
  • Technical Brilliance in 480p and 16:9
Rating:10.0 Super Mario Galaxy has showed that that the Wii RULES

Friday, November 23, 2007

Mario Kart Wii

Mario Kart 64,Double Dash! and now Kart Wii.Ya all like it,the feeling of hitting the opponent
with a koopa shell.Hold on and here we go:

The motorcycle is truly a status symbol,but not everybody loves this two-wheel ragtop feeling.But in Mario Kart Wii it is going to be a delight!It doesn't matter if you like old-school,PS powerhouse,or motorcycles,all vehicles are adapted so far as i heard real good.So there is fun for everybody!!!

And there are twelve kart drivers at once,so there are four more karts than originally planed.The approved Drivers are All Round Playaz Mario and Luigi, Fat Boyz Bowser,Donkey Kong,Wario,Valuigi and Little Gnomes Baby Luigi,Baby Mario,Peach and...King Boo!!!!!

To be continued...............................................

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Driver Cheats

TMR300866Credits
NJW280172Fast Cars
RUS3LInvincibility
rallyhardInvisible
WAC271074No Police
SSHELLYOpen cheat menu
N3WJ0rkOverhead View
P7ttyRzSkip Interview
ANJW16696Start as wanted person
We4rrqdzTake a ride car select

Age Of Empires II:The Age Of Kings Cheats

Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings Cheat List
Press [Enter] to open the chat window. Then enter one of the following codes to activate its corresponding cheat.
  • 1,000 food: cheese steak jimmy's
  • 1,000 gold: robin hood
  • 1,000 stone: rock on
  • 1,000 wood: lumberjack
  • Commit suicide: wimpywimpywimpy
  • Control animals *: natural wonders
  • Disable Fog of War: polo
  • Full map: marco
  • Instant building: aegis
  • Lose campaign: resign
  • Saboteur unit: to smithereens
  • Shelby AC Cobra: how do you turn this on
  • Slay all opponents: black death
  • Slay select opponent: torpedo <1-8>
  • Useless villager: i love the monkey head
  • Win campaign: i r winner
* But lose control of men.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Jack Thompson: Genius Or Failure? Part 1

"Outspoken anti-games lawyer Jack Thompson has decided that a representation of a 2nd amendment lawyer in GTA IV is a mocking version of him. He has declared that if the representation is not removed he will attempt to block the release. Excerpt from GamePolitics: 'The showcasing play of the game to Game Informer revealed that the first killing mission of the hero of the game, Niko, is to kill a certain lawyer. When Niko comes into this lawyer's office, having used subterfuge to do so, Niko pulls a gun on the lawyer who says, that the firm supports the second amendment and that 'Guns don't kill people. Video games do.'"


-----That's our Jackie alright.A lawyer called Jack Thompson is against
violent video games.Why,you will ask?Well,he was the lawyer of the three parents.The Children of those three parents had teens how deceased at the Heath High Massacre.'Okay'.you must think.'Nothing anti about that'.But then,he accused that the school shooters were 'obsessed' with the game Doom.
----


And so began the story of Mr. Thompson.

To be continued...............

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Feel Good Inc Lyrics

Hahahahahahaha.....

Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake itFeel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good

City's breaking down on a camel's back.
They just have to go 'cos they don’t know wack
So while you fill the streets, it's appealing to see.
You won't get out the county, because you're damn --- free.
You've got a new horizon, its ephemeral style,
A melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, I gotta kiss, because I don’t get sleep, no...

Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is ticking falling down...
Love forever, Love is free
Lets turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land-
Is everybody in?

Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Linin' em up like---cracks,
Ladies ponies at the track
it's my chocolate attack.
----, I'm stepping in heart of this here
Carebear bumpin' in the heart of this here
Watch me as I gravitate
hahahahahaa.

Yo, we go ghost town,
this motown,
with your sound
you win the blink.
gon'bite the dust
can't fight with us
with yo sound
you kill the INC.
so don’t stop, get it, get it
until you're cheddar header.
Watch the way I navigate
hahahahahahaa!

Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good

Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is ticking falling down...
Love forever Love is free
Lets turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land-
Is everybody in?


Dont stop, get it, get it,
We are your captains in it. Steady,
Watch me navigate,
Ahahahahahhaa

Don't stop, get it, get it,
We are your captains in it. Steady,
Watch me navigate,
Ahhahahahaa

Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good
Shake it, shake it, shake it Feel good

Ahahahahah...

Best PS3 Game?

Winner:Fifa 08
Vice Slammer:Obilivion
BronzeWon:Ninja Gaiden Sigma