Forgotten Games: Namco Smash Tennis for SNES

One of my new games (see post below) is called Namco Smash Tennis, but not Smash Tennis Court, which is a popular game released on the PSX. It must be pretty rare, since the only hits on Google were eBay auctions and 2 cheating sites, so maybe this is my personal goldmine...I am a passionate tennis player myself, so let's review this sucker.

Well, after the title screen shows up, I have 3 options. (A) Exhibition, (B) Tournament, or (C) Options. Well, there isn't really much selection here, but what do you expect from a game made in the early mid-nineties. So after I chose Exhibition, all the combination were available, from 1P-2P vs. 3P-COM to P1-COM vs. P2-COM. Then, you can choose the court you want. I would recommend shrine, since the bounce here is elegantly low, which accomplishes a higher rally. After choosing your name, I am surprised how many different strokes can be executed. I found out following: forehand, backhand, volley, smash, lob, forehand slice, backhand slice and last but not least a underspin (yes, underspin is rarely used in tennis, rather in table tennis). By the way, you can try out a underspin by finding a table-tennis ball and tapping it with great pressure. Great ingame-depth can be accomplished due to the great variety, but the best thing is yet to be mentioned: Strategy. This resembles a real tennis game (just without the ball-stroking) very good. You could try slicing near the net, bait the opponent towards the net in order to lob upon him (a high ball is called lob), causing confusion with the underspin, or just play without a mind, which often works. This game is HIGHLY addictive, I must say. I finished the tournament mode after 3 1/2 hours, and I must say that it really was fun. Another thing I must say: During gameplay, the atmosphere is really intense, just like before a summer-storm (yeah, I am poetic sometimes...). Everybody seems to be concentrated, and seldom a cheer can be heard, rewarding the awesomeness of the appropriate player. It really is similar to the kick while playing with high rally during a real-match of tennis (Rally is a tennis-term regarding the transfer of the ball from side to side without a significantly dominant opponent, since a player must block the balls the other one is striking and try to strike on his own), which is really good. I bet if this game would be slightly more popular, it would revolutionize tennis-games as we know it. The sound is really decent, and the graphics look pretty. The audiovisual components really do their job good. I would say that this is the best retro tennis simulation that I have seen so far, maybe even the best tennis-simulation (By the way: Mario Tennis is tennis arcade-style). So if you have the chance, go buy it on eBay or any other retailer-site. And if you are a cheapskate, go torrent it. And now a screenshot from the grande finale:

Divided Opinions: Wolfenstein 3D Review For SNES

Divided Opinions: Wolfenstein 3D for SNES

Now first of all, we are talking about the US version of Wolfenstein 3D for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. This is the only version I have besides the censored German version (Note: I live in Germany), where the enemies aren't Nazis and the end boss is called Heinrich, which is a ordinary German name. I never had the experience to own this game for PC, but I could play it a few times. Most of the people reading this will ask themselves why the word "Divided Opinions" is in the title...we will come to that later.

I just want to put a big note here before I start the review:

Things are getting complicated now: In the original Personal Computer version, you will have to take the fight against German Nationalists (long for Nazis). But the SNES version doesn't really tell you if you are fighting against Nazis or not, because all references and similarities were mostly censored. For example, Adolf Hitler (which I will call Adi or Adolfo in this review) was originally one of the bosses of one stage. But here he was moved to the last stage with his name changed to "Stadtmeister" (literally meaning "City-Master") or Heinrich in some versions, his mustache removed, and almost all visible or heard references removed, for example the removal of swastikas (I hope you noticed that almost every room is a swastika!) and the attacking dogs (which were replaced by mutant rats).

Some groups wouldn't really like this references, but couldn't there be any option of fighting against Nazis or not, or even two different games?! I still don't understand why some games with controversial features don't release one version with it and one version with out it, since those interested for the version with it can get it easily mostly because of age, and the people not interested for it can just buy the censored version. But after all, you will just have to use your imagination.

So let's start the review!


Story: 7/10

Actually, there isn't a story at all. It is this particular "action movie plot", which is just there in order to have a (more or less) legit reason the kick Nazi butt. But this game is just the type of game where you can turn on the off-switch which is located in your rarely used gamer-brain. Just like any lightshooter or a good old episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger". Yeah, Chuck Norris FTW! I don't think I will have to do a plot synopsis. since the only plot twist is that the 2nd enemy wants to create chemical weapons....

Music: 3/10

...just a loop of crap ALL the time....the sound effects were censored (see Differences Between The PC and The SNES Version)....and the sound effects barely even classify as SNES-worthy...

Graphics: 5/10

Damn man...the fake 3D graphics are just horrendous. Now don't tell me that this game was released earlier and it looks good for it's time. IT DOESN'T. The animation is sloppy and the overall look is just bullcrap. Now please don't think that I am the type of PS3 fanboy (or Sega Genesis/Mega Drive) who's only pro-argument are the graphics. The graphics are rather meh, just like a back of a Gumba: It isn't beautiful, but it gets the job done.

Controllz: 8/10

Nothin' bad here.

Gameplay: 6/10

The levels are pretty simple, its just a maze with a few rooms. You could try getting a high-score by finding secrets and items and/or finding (killing to be exact) all enemies. Thats really all there is. It gets boring and repetitive as the game goes on, there isn't really much variety or depth to it. Speed-Runs could be exciting...and a complaint are the amount of levels (too many and too few, see Differences Between The PC and The SNES Version) etc. But it gets interesting enough to keep you playing it 'til the end.



Differences between The PC And The SneS version

The guards yell "STOP!" or "HALT!" instead of "ACHTUNG!" or "SPION!"
A body of a random guard is missing when you start the level.
The swastikas are now crosses.
95% of the levels are redesigned due to the fact that most rooms are swastika-shaped.
The dogs are mutant rats in the SNES version.
Staatsmeister/Heinrich doesn't have his famous toothbrush stash or the swastika on the armband.
No blood
Adolfo isn't called Adolf Hitler, instead Staatsmeister or Heinrich.
The game doesn't feature 3 bosses, Gretel Grosse, Otto Giftmacher, and the General to be exact (Note: Giftmacher means Poisonmaker xD).
The enemies scream "Ooh!" instead of the German sayings (which I unfortunately cant recite now, if somebody know, pls write it in the comments).
The maximum amount of ammo which can be carried is 299 in the SNES, but only 99 in the PC version.
Hans G.'s level is completely different.
The exit doors and the back are completely different when looked upon.
2 guns available in the SNES version aren't available in the PC version.
The Ubermutant isn't in the original at all.
When the main character is shot, his HUD-image is looking at the direction he was shot at (I think). This isn't featured in the PC version.When you use a weapon, the weapon's picture is not featured at all on the status bar.
The word AMMO has been replaced by SHOT in the far right hand corner of the screen.
The machine gun and chaingun look completely different and sound different.
There aren't any pictures of Heinrich or Staatsmeister with a open-mouth in the SNES version.
There aren't any cages on the wall.
You cant drink water in the SNES version, nor blood or bones as items.
The word "Item" in the HUD isn't available in the PC version.
There were pots in the PC version, but they aren't featured in the SNES version.
While starting off the level, there is a small ammo box in the left corner which can't be found in the PC version.
The large ammo boxes found in secret rooms aren't available in the PC version.
B.J's eyes don't look forward like in the PC version, instead left or right
No skeletons on the wall
The game contains some relevance to the storyline of SOD (Spears Of Destiny) because it features the Ubermutat and Trans Grosse.
Hans G. is featured in his own level and in a secret level (in the PC version I think its his ghost or clone or whatever)
After you defeat Staatsmeister or Heinrich (Adolf in the original), the game ends. In the PC version you still have 3 missions left.
The HUD-images when the main character B.J gets 40% health or less is different
The blood on the wall is censored.
Some sound effects are different.

These are only some of the differences, but I think I named the most important ones.

OVERALL: 6/10

Worst Wolfenstein 3D port I ever saw, but it still is a very important game and one of the first FPS-shooters on the SNES.

Retro Rules ! : Episode I : TMNT TF

Hi, this is the first episode of my new series "Retro Rules!". I will show you my favorites in retro gaming. Let´s start, shall we ?


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles : Tournament Fighters

In the late-eighty's and early-ninety's,TMNT was every where. T-Shirts, Comics, Stuffed Toys (Merchandising, freak !) !! Big N (Nickname For Nintendo) and Sega won lots of cash because of these turtles....big time with TMNT : TF. The genesis version had Ray Fillet (yummy) as a bonus character, the Super Nintendo (Super Famicom) version had War, a monstrous purple creature with big claws, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as seen in the TMNT comics published by Archie comics. However he is said to be an alien in the game. And the NES (Famicom) version had Hothead, A giant dragon..thing. The Genesis (Mega Drive for all European, Brazilian, and Japanese readers) starts with some weirdos shouting *You can count on use !!* While I looked at the screen, I saw a giant bug dude. Who the hell was that ? Oh, Sil(l)yphus. No, he is called Sis(s)yphus. What a sissy. Whatever , you suck donkeys, Why couldn`t they use Chrome Dome or Be-Bop , or everybody except this bug. What can I say ?about the NES version ?

While all three versions share the same title, each game is unique to its console. A respective turtle was selected to be the cover character of each version released in NA and the PAL Region; as there were three games and four ninja turtles, Mike was the one left out for such a role.

In Nippon, whereas the Genesis version retained the North American title, the SNES version was retitled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Warriors, disambiguating the two games. The NES version was not released in Japan (Suckers !!) .

The SNES version roked. It had sweet music, a bunch of cool characters, and really hard moves. Oh yeah, there is a green bar , too. When it is full, you can execute a signature move. If you`re lucky enough to get this one a SNES, I hate you*cry* .

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode VI : Shaq Fu

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====> Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu (Your reading it, bub)<====
....Now it´s time to review.....

Shaq Fu

Shaq Fu was one hell of a game . Before I start cursing about this game , let me take a deep breath . OK , let´s do it .......
Shaq Fu was made by EA in the year 1994 (That poor year) and released on the SNES , Genesis , Game Boy , Game Gear and Amiga . Man , if the SNES/Genesis version sucks , why did they make it on the Amiga and the handheld consoles ? This game just sucks sucking suckers .

As you can see , Shaq Fu is "Crap-Level 2" which is a rare status .

First of all , why in the name of freakin´ retardos did they use Shaq O´Neal ? Isn´t his rap career humiliating enough ? I mean that Shaq plays basketball and he´s not the choosen one that has to save kids . He´s just a popular fat no-brain basketball player !! Second of all , this is a fighting game . It´s so freakin´ hard , so crappy , it´s just a piece of donkey feces .

Just because Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were good games , doesn´t mean that the whole fighting genre is good ! The whole genre is 95 % Street Fighter Clone , while the other 5% are good games . You can guess 3 times : Is Shaq Fu a good game ? There are just so many fighting games because of $$$ .

Shaq Fu is the worst fighting-game ever . Shaqs career is comin´ to a end . His biggest mistake was : Shaq Fu . It was his first and final fighting game . And his second biggest mistake : His rap career . This game brings all bad things about fighting-games and brings it in one.
Gameplay
I could leave this section blank because of one reason : When was the last time you saw something good about Shaq Fu ? There was no last time .....

1 : There was a complete lack of timing when maneuvering .You press *Kick* and it happens circa 1.5 seconds later . *Kick* isn´t the only one , even *Jump* reacts 2 seconds later .

2: This game has the clumsiest controls ever in the fighting genre .

3: You can only choose Shaq Fu . Note : Shaq fights like a 2-year old girl . He can´t even block . Can his enemies block ? Yes , they can .

4. This game has a two-player mode . Can you imagine playing this game with a friend ?

5. Aside from jumping, projectile attacks conflict with the in-game lagging. Once you execute the command (if you can, that is), the lag and lack of combat animation kicks in, and whoever you’re playing against can see it coming a mile away. Like I said before, it will come to a point where you’ll cut it out of your overall repertoire, assuming your patience allows you to make it to that point

6. Shaq can´t darn block at the right time . Timing is not available !

7. This game has three stupid modes to play , each of them suck harder than the other . And which one sucks the most ? Well , I would say : Story Mode . Why ? Because you can only choose O´Neal . That hurts .

For one or two-player combat, there is the duel mode. Players can select their character and adjust a handicap
(There is enough in 0% handicap , trust me ) in two-player battle, and in single-player, you simply climb oh-so-short ladder of characters. For a party, there’s the tournament mode for up to eight players, but who in their right mind would like to play this piece of dog poo ?

Music , Sound , Graphics

I have to say : weak . It´s actually a category were this game doesn´t suck .

Uniqueness , Fun , Replay Value

Like almost all bad games , this one is unique alright . In crappyness
Fun : No Comment
Replay Value : If there even were a category called *Play Value* , I would live it blank .

Last Word:

Crap , this game landed in the *poor* New Mexico Desert , right of E.T.

Rating :

Sound : 0/10.0 ( The lowest rating possible is : -10.0 )
Music : -1 / 10.0
Graphics : 5.0 /10.0
Gameplay : -3.0 / 10.0
Uniqueness 6.0/10.0
Replay Value -10.0/10.0
Fun : -9.0/ 10.0

Overall : -6.0