Monday, March 24, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode VI : Shaq Fu

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====>
Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr.Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu (Your reading it, bub)<====
....Now it´s time to review.....

Shaq Fu

Shaq Fu was one hell of a game . Before I start cursing about this game , let me take a deep breath . OK , let´s do it .......
Shaq Fu was made by EA in the year 1994 (That poor year) and released on the SNES , Genesis , Game Boy , Game Gear and Amiga . Man , if the SNES/Genesis version sucks , why did they make it on the Amiga and the handheld consoles ? This game just sucks sucking suckers .

As you can see , Shaq Fu is "Crap-Level 2" which is a rare status .

First of all , why in the name of freakin´ retardos did they use Shaq O´Neal ? Isn´t his rap career humiliating enough ? I mean that Shaq plays basketball and he´s not the choosen one that has to save kids . He´s just a popular fat no-brain basketball player !! Second of all , this is a fighting game . It´s so freakin´ hard , so crappy , it´s just a piece of donkey feces .

Just because Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were good games , doesn´t mean that the whole fighting genre is good ! The whole genre is 95 % Street Fighter Clone , while the other 5% are good games . You can guess 3 times : Is Shaq Fu a good game ? There are just so many fighting games because of $$$ .

Shaq Fu is the worst fighting-game ever . Shaqs career is comin´ to a end . His biggest mistake was : Shaq Fu . It was his first and final fighting game . And his second biggest mistake : His rap career . This game brings all bad things about fighting-games and brings it in one.
Gameplay
I could leave this section blank because of one reason : When was the last time you saw something good about Shaq Fu ? There was no last time .....

1 : There was a complete lack of timing when maneuvering .You press *Kick* and it happens circa 1.5 seconds later . *Kick* isn´t the only one , even *Jump* reacts 2 seconds later .

2: This game has the clumsiest controls ever in the fighting genre .

3: You can only choose Shaq Fu . Note : Shaq fights like a 2-year old girl . He can´t even block . Can his enemies block ? Yes , they can .

4. This game has a two-player mode . Can you imagine playing this game with a friend ?


5. Aside from jumping, projectile attacks conflict with the in-game lagging. Once you execute the command (if you can, that is), the lag and lack of combat animation kicks in, and whoever you’re playing against can see it coming a mile away. Like I said before, it will come to a point where you’ll cut it out of your overall repertoire, assuming your patience allows you to make it to that point

6. Shaq can´t darn block at the right time . Timing is not available !

7. This game has three stupid modes to play , each of them suck harder than the other . And which one sucks the most ? Well , I would say : Story Mode . Why ? Because you can only choose O´Neal . That hurts .

For one or two-player combat, there is the duel mode. Players can select their character and adjust a handicap
(There is enough in 0% handicap , trust me ) in two-player battle, and in single-player, you simply climb oh-so-short ladder of characters. For a party, there’s the tournament mode for up to eight players, but who in their right mind would like to play this piece of dog poo ?

Music , Sound , Graphics

I have to say : weak . It´s actually a category were this game doesn´t suck .

Uniqueness , Fun , Replay Value

Like almost all bad games , this one is unique alright . In crappyness
Fun : No Comment
Replay Value : If there even were a category called *Play Value* , I would live it blank .

Last Word:

Crap , this game landed in the *poor* New Mexico Desert , right of E.T.

Rating :

Sound : 0/10.0 ( The lowest rating possible is : -10.0 )
Music : -1 / 10.0
Graphics : 5.0 /10.0
Gameplay : -3.0 / 10.0
Uniqueness 6.0/10.0
Replay Value -10.0/10.0
Fun : -9.0/ 10.0

Overall : -6.0









1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You review games like a 5-year old.

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