Saturday, March 22, 2008

Worst Games Of All Time : Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====> Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====>Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 <====

====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler (Your reading it ) <====
====> Episode V : Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <====
...... Now to the review it´s................

Bad Street Brawler

As the title tells you , this game completely sucks donkey butts . This game is bad , but I mean it in another way. I mean it in a crappy way . They mean it in a cool way . Even stupid kids who enjoy watching Zoey 101 (Yup , thats right . I know that this show still exists) on TeenNick would know that this so called ""game" (I would call it total failure made by total failures ) is bad .

Bad Street Brawler is an insanely cute beat-'em-up horizontal scroller for the NES . You play as the role of an
former punk rocker and the world's coolest martial arts vigilante ! I would call him a complete hobo who should be kicked in the balls by the best Shaolin-Monk .

Note that this game is completely controlled by the power glove . They go well together , because none of ´em work.

You must venture through the 10 levels, each of which has its own super-ridiculous moves and punches, kicking the crap out of everyone and everything you see . And right down to the banana-throwing gorillas, it's a perfect recreation of real life ghetto streets.

You actually try pretty hard to brawl your way through the streets. Your days as a punk rocker didn't do much to prepare you for a life of high action karate battles. There are girl scouts born with flippers that can punch better than DUKE DAVIS. Another muscle spasm he incorporated into his martial arts technique was falling over in a move that looked like it was hardly even trying to be a kick. The local animal control probably could have taken care of the puppy infestation on Bad Street a long time ago if they knew all they had to do was wander around in a diaper and have clumsy seizures.

The game opens with the soon-to-be-famous proverb, "Never Trouble Trouble Til Trouble Troubles You." Of course, it's pretty hypocritical since dressing up in a yellow diaper and kicking any random midget you see is just blatantly Troubling Trouble.


Worst Games Of All Time : Episode III : Pac-Man For The Atari 2600

Hi,if you would like to read more about games that can mentally let you commit suicide then look at these other neat and fine articles (reviews) about the worst video games of all time.

Link To :
====> Episode I : E.T. The Extra Terrestrial <====
====> Episode II : Superman 64 <====
====> Episode III : Pac-Man For Atari 2600 (Your reading it) <====
====> Episode IV : Bad Street Brawler <====
====> Episode V : Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde <====
====> Episode VI : Shaq Fu <====
...... Now to the review it´s.................

Pac-Man (Atari 2600)

"What !? " , you might ask yourself . "Pac-Man being a bad game !!? " Pac-Man is good . No not good , but revolutionary . At least the arcade-version. But the Atari 2600 version is bad . No not
bad , but awfully terrible.This game sucks and every single cartridge should be destroyed by Pac-Man himself . Shame yourself, Atari 2600 developers . You`ve killed your freakin´ mascot ! You´ve killed the video gaming industry ! Without Nintendo ( I call them " Holy N " ) you`d be a company filled with useless developers who make useless games ! Atari SUCKS ! Hell,I would say the only good Atari game is the original arcade Pac-Man ! Now let`s go on to the actual game.....

Pac-Man 2600 was released in the year 1981 by ..... (you can guess three times) A.T.A.R.I. which actually means:

  • Awkward weirdos who should get a life.
  • Titanium cartridge suckin´ b**tar**s
  • Awkward weirdos who use the letter A two times in a word and find falling down a cliff while playing E.T and fighting versus wise ninja-girls armed with a AK-47 boring
  • Rude guys who really need to go to a mental hospital , because their video games suck so hard , even the makers of Bible Adventures could almost laugh them out (ironically,almost)
  • Interesting games which can cause severe diarrhea
The poor port is blamed on the A.T.A.R.I. marketing department's rush to bring the game to the market. They asked the developers to take drugs , so that the quality of the game could significantly rise . After that they asked the developers to ruin their company with there own mascot. This game and E.T. probably caused the video game crash of 1983. This huge mess just destroyed (Note:This word is to "not offensive and/or cool " . I would rather use "eliminate" or "neutralize" ) customer loyalty to A.T.A.R.I. and the whole freakin` awesome video game industry !!

The ghosts were blue,pink,red and orange (as far as I can remember) . But in this port the ghosts have got blinkers which blink blue,red,pink and orange lights respectively . It really maked you hypnotized and the flicker also induced seizures , because the ghosts tried so hard and believed in them selfs . They try to let you die and end in a grave.The eyes of the ghosts on the 2600 port spin constantly, while the eyes of the monster in the arcade game indicate their direction of movement.

There also are stupid ghosts (who just randomly go through the maze) , fast ghosts (as the name indicates,
fast) and last and least, smart ghosts who trie to find the fastest way to you .

Rating: Dude/Dudet , I recommend you send your copies of the game back to Atari (or whats left of the freakin company) and play the arcade version . Otherwise , if you don`t a bunch of goverment guys will come and try to place you in a hospital where dangerous stupidos live .

I give this black sheep a ......

0.1/10.0 (The .1 is for Pac-Man . Pac-Man , if you read this please remember that you have to reach for the rainbows and please,please, I´m beggin` ya , don`t kill a console. )

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